"Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon." - Nelson Mandela
Dear friends and family,
A friend called me recently about a new project we are working on and wanted to know “where I’d been.”
“Busy,” I told him, “it’s the holiday rush.” As a criminal defense attorney I have always noticed an increase in new business this time of year. Family fights, financial stress, and increased alcohol consumption seem to account for most of it. Our recent election has also increased tensions amongst friends and relatives. For instance, we have all heard of Facebook Friends “un-friending” one another over strongly held political beliefs.
This isn’t the way it’s supposed to be, rather Christmas is a time to remember God’s infinite love for us all, and how we should reflect that love back to one another. Perhaps the purest expression of that love is the healing power of forgiveness. In Ephesians 4, the Apostle Paul tells us “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry… get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Having sat next to my share of defendants at their time of sentencing, I have witnessed some miraculous examples of forgiveness. I have heard victims of serious assaults and abuse stand before a judge and turn to my client and publicly forgive him. These moments are so powerful that not only the defendant and myself are moved to tears, but I have also seen tears flow from some of the most hardened of prosecutors and judges.
In my life’s journey I have met people who have found a way to forgive the most horrific of crimes. I know of a wife and daughter who forgave a man who murdered their husband and father on the daughter’s wedding day. Their relationship grew to the point where the wife virtually adopted the man. I also know the wife of a police officer that was shot to death in the line of duty who made peace with her husband’s killer, and today regularly visits inmates in prison - even death row - to tell them of her experience. Another friend who lost both of his parents and was himself left for dead having been shot repeatedly, survived to one day confront the killer in person and forgive him. He tells the story of how in that moment he felt as though a thick black fluid poured out of his body and that the manifestation was so powerful he could literally see it happening. All of the hate, anger, and bitterness in his life left him at once, freeing him of a burden that had consumed his life until that day.
With examples such as these, it is hard to understand why we cannot forgive more easily. I am as guilty as the next guy, and so I think it might just be time to let go of a grudge or two I’ve been carrying around. They get heavy after awhile, and as they say in Alcoholics Anonymous, these thoughts rent space inside your head, and there comes a time when you have to evict them.
It seems to me Christmas is the perfect time to evict such thoughts, and I think I can do it. After all if Nelson Mandela could forgive the enslavement of his people and his own imprisonment for over 27 years, it would seem forgiveness is possible for us all. It is a most powerful weapon indeed - a weapon for peace. A pure expression of love, just in time for Christmas.
God bless, Phil