To my beloved grandson Remington,
You are not yet two years old, but already it is clear you will be strong of body and mind. These gifts along with the other advantages you will have in life carry with them certain responsibilities. I would like to tell you of perhaps the most important one now as I see it becoming increasingly important.
The world you have been born into in many ways looks the same as when I was your age. Of course many things have changed, the influence of technology being the most obvious example. Our culture has changed as well, we are more diverse and in many ways more tolerant than we were when I was young. Some of our core values have changed or been altered, often for the better, but not always. You will learn that not everything that is new is better, and not everything that is old is worn out. There is one profound change that I look upon with distress, it is in general how men today think of, and treat women.
When I was a young man traditional role models were changing. The era of Women’s Liberation was upon us, an important and long overdue movement that did much to usher in greater equality amongst the sexes. With change came confusion, as young men like me didn’t know if traditional gestures of respect would be well taken, or not. I recall being chastised for both opening and not opening the door for my date. Even so, it was a time when the term “gentleman” was still aspired too. A polite, gracious or considerate man with high standards of propriety and correct behavior. These values were particularly to be observed in relations with the opposite sex. Respect for the dignity and reputation of a woman was to be maintained at all times.
The disintegration of this noble standard has crept up on us in many ways, such as an increasing societal preoccupation with beauty and sex appeal, the proliferation and acceptance of pornography, and most disturbingly the increase in incidences of domestic violence and sexual assault. The exploitation of women has become so prolific that the institution of slavery has once again invaded our shores in the form of oppression of young women and even girls in the sex trade.
Remington, as you become a young man I hope you will take every opportunity presented to you to boldly oppose the oppression of women no matter how severe or subtle it may be. The denigration of women has become a common form of amusement and entertainment. Ugly names and references that demean women have become common place, even to the point where a man who aspires to be President of the United States publicly refers to women he dislikes as “bimbos”, “piggy’s” and other insults about their appearance. Please, do not ever let yourself be reduced to this level of incivility.
Fight against this trend Remington. Start with yourself, love not only yourself, but others as well. Treat the girls you grow up with, with respect. Honor their difference, and do not stand idly by as some crude foe seeks to diminish them.
Finally, like your parents and grandparents before you do not be afraid to fall in love. Totally, absolutely head over heels in love. There is real risk in letting yourself love unconditionally, but take that risk. Commit yourself completely to her, do not compromise when it comes to love. Have the courage to ask her to marry you, even if she says doesn’t care about being married, don’t believe her. Ask her anyway, she deserves it.
-From your loving grandfather, Philip